Monday, January 12, 2015

Rage Face

So, it has been about six months since my last confession...I mean blog post. Hormonal hell has not changed. In fact, it has increased...ten fold. Adria turned 11 in November and I have a full blown pre-teen on my hands. I'm not using tween. Nope. The word tween does not seem to do it justice.

11th Birthday trip in NYC

One thing I know about myself is that I have a horrible temper and I mean horrible. However, as an adult I have learned how to control it. It's an Irish thing. I know this. I also know I cannot drink whiskey or gin because I want to start fights. But, I digress.

As a hormonal pre-teen my sister used to call me "the dragon lady". She still might call me the dragon lady but she knows better than to call me the dragon lady to my face. (I love you seester). When I got mad, I did not just get mad. Oh no. I got full on RAGING mad. I can remember just seeing red and not fully being able to remember what happened. So when Adria was born I thought: Red Head, Irish, I am SCREWED. And boy was I right!!!!!!

This is when she is happy. We like happy
So begins my tale. I have been battling a stomach bug. Fortunately I haven't been throwing up but let's just say I have not been able to eat solid food in like a week. If I DO eat solid food, it goes IMMEDIATELY through me. Adria has nicknamed it my poop ghost. (Sorry, this is kind of gross). So the other evening, my ghost game to visit and I get upstairs and there is no toilet paper in the bathroom. I call for her to grab me some. I'm standing in the hallway and she comes up the stairs and instead of just grabbing the roll from downstairs, she starts a sing-songy guessing game with me.

Normally, I wouldn't mind this said guessing game. But, I'm in the hallway about to crap myself and I yelled at her. It wasn't very nice I'll admit. But man, the poop ghost was haunting me.

She gets the other roll, comes back upstairs and......

THROWS THE TOILET PAPER IN MY FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And proceeds to scream "There's your STUPID TOILET PAPER!".

OHMYGUHHHH YOU GUYS. I almost went full ON Madea on her. Full on Madea with GRITS. Through gritted teeth I told her to And that is when I saw it. The rage face. I don't know if I can accurately describe it. But it involves bared teeth, a red face, and imaginary steam coming out of the ears. Something like this:

Rage Face by voice of truth

After I calmed down, I went into her room and we talked and I told her that I understood. I understood the want to rip my face off. And I understood the rage, but that it was not okay to throw things at me. We hugged and she got my half of the picture she ripped in half out of the trash and hung it back up next to the half with her dad on it. Yeah, that's right.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Bryden! where have you been?! Hormonal hell, that's where!

Thank You loyal readers for not giving up on me. And hopefully I have some new readers after some new blog followers and some new Twitter followers. Because this blog is about to get real. Oh yes it will still be funny because it has to be funny or else there's a very good chance that Adria will not survive until she is 18 years old. Oh, who am I kidding she may not survive to make it to actually get her period.

That's right, we've embarked on the seemingly endless journey of 'tween PMS.

Now just a few things happened before this. Adria was in the band. She was playing the snare drum.


These pictures are after her first lesson.  In the second picture she is making out with her drum sticks. She was so happy. This is pretty much where the happiness ended. No practicing, skipping lessons, you know the usual. she wants to play the saxophone.  We shall see.

Now she wants to sing. And she was quite the voice!! She participated in her school's variety show. 

After has all gone down hill. I first started noticing the crying, nay, weeping, at EVERYTHING. We are out of cocoa puffs...weeping. we need to get the mail....chin trembling. Her Kindle lost its charge FULL ON BAWLING. 

Last week a conversation went like this.
A: where's my iPod?
M: I don't know. Where did you see it last? 
A: it was in my room. I didn't take it out of there. 
M: well Adria it didn't grow legs and walk away so I'm guessing it's in your room
A: grrrrrr. I HATE when you use that PHRASE!!!!! stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp stomp *SLAM*

By the way. she found her iPod. It wasin her shoe. In her room

Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Catching up with Adria

Life has been crazed! Between Thad's surgery, all of my stuff going on and of course Adria well, I really haven't had time to write. That is not to say I haven't been taking mental notes but you'll have to forgive me if this is a bit all over the place.  I guess I will start off with Girl Scouts. I love the Girl Scout organization and I love that she loves it too. We work really hard especially right now to sell cookies so the girls can go and do some really cool stuff. But I will say this...I HATE cookie time. Why? Because I'm the one that ends up doing all of the work. And mostly I don't mind. However this year I decided to volunteer to work the cookie booth at Boscov's in Camp Hill. We sat in the atrium with no heat and by the time I left, I could hardly move. I never did get warm that day. The positive side of this is, I got this picture...

This really made me giggle. The best part was that she and the other girl there were trading off on the costume. When the other little girl was wearing the costume, she would dance in it. So this is how it went.

The door opens and a potential customer comes in. Adria would say "Girl Scout Cookies! Only $3.50 per box." And Alanna would say "And the sa-MO-as dance!" (dancing ensued). Well after about 20 minutes of this and many, MANY strange looks from people, I had tears of laughter running down my face. They did an awesome job!!!

Next up....decade day! Adria's school had a decade themed day and she chose the 80s. Well, that's not entirely accurate. She chose the 70s and wanted to be a disco queen with "a HUGE black afro". This of course further helps my friend Jeremy's argument that I in fact have a black child. If you don't know what I'm talking about see Adria and Black history month. Anyway, since her basic wardrobe is already 80s...that's what we went with. And this was the result.

Now, the hair was a little tough. We did the side pony however I wanted to give her mall bangs. And I did. And she cried.

She started to cry and said that she looked weird and didn't want to go to school like this was the compromise. I wish I had a pic of the big bangs, but I don't. But it was pretty epic, if I do say say myself.

Now onto the vampire teeth. Whenever my dad takes us out to Jojo's for dinner, Adria insists on getting more crap from the the vending machines. There are little Winnie the Pooh dolls and a whole bunch of other crap. THIS time, she got fake vampire teeth. Not just ANY fake vampire teeth...but what I like to refer to as Vampire Fronts. Now, if you are not schooled in the way of the hood, fronts are defined by Urban Dictionary as

1. fronts: (noun):
removable gold or platinum teeth that go over top your real teeth
When I go out, I always rock my chain and fronts.
I can't even. These things are so beyond bizarre to me...even for Adria. Later when we were at home, she comes up to me and says "I made my new vampire teeth, well, more Adria"

I asked her what she meant and she showed me. She had added glitter to the teeth. So now we have glittery, vampire fronts that are more Adria.

What else can I say?

Monday, December 31, 2012

America's Funniest Home Videos...and Adria

One of Adria's favorite shows is America's Funniest Home Videos. It has been a staple in our house well, since it was on in the late eighties. I love it, and frankly never tire of the endless nut shots and people getting their wits scared out of them. And let's not forget of course the never ending stream of animals humping. On AFV animals hump animals, animals hump people and animals hump inanimate objects.

So on Christmas Eve Thad and I were watching a special Christmas episode of AFV. I asked him to record it so we could watch later with Adria. We stopped watching it and saved it for later. So after everyone left on Christmas Day and we settled in for some family time we pulled up the episode of AFV and settled in to watch.

We are happily watching the episode when a clip comes on with a family posing for a Christmas photo in front of sliding glass door. All of a sudden you see, that's right, two reindeer humping each other. And not in a stationary were humping whilst traveling.

Adria starts laughing hysterically and says "Look! Those two reindeer are attacking each other!"


Thad and I start howling. I mean, flat out guffaws are coming out of our mouths.

Adria looks very upset, "What is so funny?!"  About 10 seconds pass and then she says in all seriousness...."They're not reindeer...are they?"


Thad and I are beyond words at this point and the laughter continued for roughly five minutes.

We never did say why it was so funny.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Wintertime fun...a little early

Anyone who knows me at all, knows that I love winter...but I HATE snow. If I have to deal with the snow, I would like it to shut everything down. Anything less than that is just super annoying. I never enjoyed sledding because all you got was a chapped hiney. SO...I was the kid inside by the fire, reading a book. Shocking I know.

Adria on the other hand....LOVES the snow. And she loves to play in the snow. And she REALLY loves building things in the snow. Last week we got around 2 inches and when I got home from work she came running up to me.

"Mommy, mommy! You have to come see what I built!"

So I'm thinking snow angel, snow man or woman...let's be P.C. here. Boy was I WAY off.

My daughter built....a freaking snow living room!!!!!! Complete with sofa, end table, television and remote.

Repeat...snow sofa, snow end table, snow television and SNOW REMOTE!!!!!

Doesn't she look cozy?
Here you can sort of see the remote.
I wonder what's on?
So there it is. Snow living room, complete with accent lamp. I really wonder about this kid sometimes. I was never this creative. She continues to amaze!!!

Monday, November 19, 2012

Yes we're still here!!!

I'm so sorry it's been so long. Life has It gets in the way of all the fun things like blogging.

Adria is doing great in school. We just had her parent/teacher conference and she 's got all As and one B. I am a proud mama!!!

So her birthday was on Tuesday and she turned 9. I just can't believe my baby is 9. So we got together with her friends and went to the movies and out for pizza. The girls were all really well behaved and we had a great time!!!!

Adria's one friend got her this really cool necklace making kit. In the kit was string and beads and what not. So, Adria comes up last night and says she made a necklace with all these different animals that represent her. I'm thinking she's discovered her "spirit animal" or something. Boy was I wrong. The animals on the necklace represent a different traits of hers...for lack of a better term.

So here is the necklace....


Now on said necklace is an elephant, a whale, a giraffe, a lion and a seal.

My thoughts are okay, you're smart, you're huge, you have a long neck, you eat meat and I was really at a loss for the seal. Boy, was I WAY off.

 "I made this necklace with animals that represent me. An elephant because I am LOUD. A whale because I can swim. I giraffe because I'm really tall. A lion because I'm really fast. And a seal because....(wait for it) I can balance things on my NOSE!!!"
So I asked her. You can balance stuff on your nose? Of course you can. How silly of me.

My first reaction was...pshaw...easy peasy. I was wrong. This takes skills that I do not have.

Next time I will have more faith.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

This mom is having a NERD-GASM!

I am a nerd. I am proud of being a nerd. What makes me a nerd? And I mean a real nerd, not the hipster nerd that has been invented as of late. Well I got teased in school, I spent an entire summer not leaving my house because I thought I was going to get beat up, I do community theater, I go to Horror film conventions, and recently I've started reading comic books. I know in my heart that comic books do not a nerd make, however that is not how they are perceived.

So it should not be surprising that my daughter is following in her mom's footsteps. There have been a few instances over the past few days that have melted this nerd's heart and made her very proud.

1. She wants to go to a Horror con with her dad and me. She even went as far as to say she would skip Memaw and Pop pop's house in order to do so. This is HUGE. She never wants to skip Memaw and Pop pop's house.

2. She came upstairs with her new Kindle fire, which she was reading comic books on, and said..."I really wish I had the thin paper comic books".  *SIGH*

3. While watching Adventures in Babysitting, she recognized the girls backpack as Gizmo from Gremlins.

4. While peeking over my shoulder, she saw a Zombie Hello Kitty that said, Hello Zombie. She got crazy excited and said..."That's demented, I have to have it!"

Honestly, I just can't ask for more than that. A nerdy daughter who also wants to hang with her parents at their nerdy events!!!! HUZZAH!