Monday, December 31, 2012

America's Funniest Home Videos...and Adria

One of Adria's favorite shows is America's Funniest Home Videos. It has been a staple in our house well, since it was on in the late eighties. I love it, and frankly never tire of the endless nut shots and people getting their wits scared out of them. And let's not forget of course the never ending stream of animals humping. On AFV animals hump animals, animals hump people and animals hump inanimate objects.

So on Christmas Eve Thad and I were watching a special Christmas episode of AFV. I asked him to record it so we could watch later with Adria. We stopped watching it and saved it for later. So after everyone left on Christmas Day and we settled in for some family time we pulled up the episode of AFV and settled in to watch.

We are happily watching the episode when a clip comes on with a family posing for a Christmas photo in front of sliding glass door. All of a sudden you see, that's right, two reindeer humping each other. And not in a stationary were humping whilst traveling.

Adria starts laughing hysterically and says "Look! Those two reindeer are attacking each other!"


Thad and I start howling. I mean, flat out guffaws are coming out of our mouths.

Adria looks very upset, "What is so funny?!"  About 10 seconds pass and then she says in all seriousness...."They're not reindeer...are they?"


Thad and I are beyond words at this point and the laughter continued for roughly five minutes.

We never did say why it was so funny.

Friday, December 7, 2012

Wintertime fun...a little early

Anyone who knows me at all, knows that I love winter...but I HATE snow. If I have to deal with the snow, I would like it to shut everything down. Anything less than that is just super annoying. I never enjoyed sledding because all you got was a chapped hiney. SO...I was the kid inside by the fire, reading a book. Shocking I know.

Adria on the other hand....LOVES the snow. And she loves to play in the snow. And she REALLY loves building things in the snow. Last week we got around 2 inches and when I got home from work she came running up to me.

"Mommy, mommy! You have to come see what I built!"

So I'm thinking snow angel, snow man or woman...let's be P.C. here. Boy was I WAY off.

My daughter built....a freaking snow living room!!!!!! Complete with sofa, end table, television and remote.

Repeat...snow sofa, snow end table, snow television and SNOW REMOTE!!!!!

Doesn't she look cozy?
Here you can sort of see the remote.
I wonder what's on?
So there it is. Snow living room, complete with accent lamp. I really wonder about this kid sometimes. I was never this creative. She continues to amaze!!!

Monday, November 19, 2012

Yes we're still here!!!

I'm so sorry it's been so long. Life has It gets in the way of all the fun things like blogging.

Adria is doing great in school. We just had her parent/teacher conference and she 's got all As and one B. I am a proud mama!!!

So her birthday was on Tuesday and she turned 9. I just can't believe my baby is 9. So we got together with her friends and went to the movies and out for pizza. The girls were all really well behaved and we had a great time!!!!

Adria's one friend got her this really cool necklace making kit. In the kit was string and beads and what not. So, Adria comes up last night and says she made a necklace with all these different animals that represent her. I'm thinking she's discovered her "spirit animal" or something. Boy was I wrong. The animals on the necklace represent a different traits of hers...for lack of a better term.

So here is the necklace....


Now on said necklace is an elephant, a whale, a giraffe, a lion and a seal.

My thoughts are okay, you're smart, you're huge, you have a long neck, you eat meat and I was really at a loss for the seal. Boy, was I WAY off.

 "I made this necklace with animals that represent me. An elephant because I am LOUD. A whale because I can swim. I giraffe because I'm really tall. A lion because I'm really fast. And a seal because....(wait for it) I can balance things on my NOSE!!!"
So I asked her. You can balance stuff on your nose? Of course you can. How silly of me.

My first reaction was...pshaw...easy peasy. I was wrong. This takes skills that I do not have.

Next time I will have more faith.

Saturday, September 1, 2012

This mom is having a NERD-GASM!

I am a nerd. I am proud of being a nerd. What makes me a nerd? And I mean a real nerd, not the hipster nerd that has been invented as of late. Well I got teased in school, I spent an entire summer not leaving my house because I thought I was going to get beat up, I do community theater, I go to Horror film conventions, and recently I've started reading comic books. I know in my heart that comic books do not a nerd make, however that is not how they are perceived.

So it should not be surprising that my daughter is following in her mom's footsteps. There have been a few instances over the past few days that have melted this nerd's heart and made her very proud.

1. She wants to go to a Horror con with her dad and me. She even went as far as to say she would skip Memaw and Pop pop's house in order to do so. This is HUGE. She never wants to skip Memaw and Pop pop's house.

2. She came upstairs with her new Kindle fire, which she was reading comic books on, and said..."I really wish I had the thin paper comic books".  *SIGH*

3. While watching Adventures in Babysitting, she recognized the girls backpack as Gizmo from Gremlins.

4. While peeking over my shoulder, she saw a Zombie Hello Kitty that said, Hello Zombie. She got crazy excited and said..."That's demented, I have to have it!"

Honestly, I just can't ask for more than that. A nerdy daughter who also wants to hang with her parents at their nerdy events!!!! HUZZAH!

Tuesday, August 21, 2012


A few months back I posted some pictures in a blog of Adria and her awesome outfits. One particular picture prompted my good friend Stacie to email me and tell me that Adria needed a training bra.

I vehemently denied this and convinced myself that they were just shadows. Little boobie shaped shadows.

Two weekends ago we were in Somerset, PA for our annual family reunion. Adria was running all over the place playing with the other kids. And I glance over while she is running around and realize there is movement under her shirt. The shadows were moving!!!!!!!!

I finally crawled out from my tent of denial and realized they were NOT shadows and that my baby girl was getting boobs!

What the HELL?!

So we are at Target and in the girls section and we find the training bras. However they are not called training bras, no. They are called Bralettes.

I don't know how but this makes it worse somehow. Bralette. Bralette. Say it enough and it completely loses meaning. Bralette.

So there I am in the middle of Target, crying, while my daughter is fawning all over the place. OOOOH I love this one it's soo pretty!!!!

I manage to get myself together. I honestly felt like I was watching another person pick out a Bralette. Not my baby girl. Except that now, she's not a baby. GAH! When did that happen! I think it's really wrong that I was purchasing a bra and a Tweetie Bird nightgown for the same child.

Later that night we went out to eat. I told Adria to go upstairs and get dressed. She comes down in an adorable outfit, white t-shirt, and her bralette. Now when we got back from the store she didn't want to show her dad what we had purchased and I told him about it but we really didn't go into great length about it.

Adria walks by her dad and clearly she has on her bralette and his jaw fell into his lap. He did about a triple take as she walked by. Points and just grunts..and I look at him and nod.

Yup, that's exactly what you think it is.

Is this what's next?!?!?

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Literature: Adria style

I know, I know, I has been a LONG time since I have posted anything. Life is just a teensy bit hectic right now. That does not mean I don't have a ton of Adria goodness coming your way...believe me I do.

Adria has been quite the busy bee this summer. She spent a week down in Virginia Beach with her Uncle Tim and Aunt Cindy and had QUITE the good time. Then she spent a week at the beach with my mom and my sister. I was there for a few days but had to come home early. Duty called.

So as you know from reading this blog, Adria is quite creative. Some things she comes up with are just amazing. For example, on Mother's Day I came home to a banner that said "Happy Mother's Day" that she had cut out by hand and hung up on the wall...just gorgeous.
My little beach bum

So for whatever reason, she decided that while we were at the beach, she was going to cut out shapes and tape them to her leg. I have no idea why, honestly I've stopped asking.

I told her if she wore the cutouts on her leg to the beach, then she could get a tan in the shape of whatever was attached.

So mom and I are standing in the kitchen and she comes out after considering this and says...

"Maybe I could cut out the letter A and tape it on my chest and I could get a tan with my initial there"

I am not exaggerating at and I literally fell down laughing. Poor Adria is standing there looking thoroughly confused.

"No baby, you definitely do NOT want to do that!"

"Why not, Mommy"

"I don't feel like explaining it, but let's just say it's not good"

It was really, really funny.

If you don't think it was funny, I'm not sure we can be friends anymore. If you have NO idea what I'm talking about read this:
The Scarlet Letter

Then re-read this entry. If you still don't think it is funny, well then I really don't care. ;-)

I just love this!

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Lessons in stereotypes

I know a lot of times I sound like a broken record. However, as long as Adria keeps saying the stuff that she says...well, I'll say it again. The child made me laugh so hard I almost wrecked my car.

Most of the funny stuff that she says happens while we are driving, see Car Conversations with Adria.

So last night we're in the car on the way home from rehearsal. (she is currently starring in Faery Free-for-all at the Little Theater of Mechanicsburg, info to follow) And of course the topic of Madagascar 3 comes up. If you haven't seen the promo...this is what we were talkng about.

Anyway, she says to me:

"Mommy, when you listen to Marty sing the afro circus song, you can tell that he's black"

"What do you mean you can tell he's black? You mean, you can tell by his voice?"


"How can you tell from his voice that he's black?"

"Because!....he's so....funny and SASSY"

"Are you saying black people are sassy?"

"Well yeah...sometimes they say MMM..HM!"

I wish that I could somehow convey the to you in a way that you would understand....

OH WAIT!!!!!!!

Adria had the head action going and everything.

Once I stopped laughing, straightened out my car and caught my breath....I explained to her that she can't judge an entire group of people by what she sees on television because most of it is not accurate.

She seemed very upset that not all black people are sassy. I guess we win some and we lose some.

( for tickets to Faery Free-for-all only $8!)

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Notes from an 8 year old

Hello everyone! Life has been a bit crazed. I apologize for the delay. As you know though, life with Adria continues on the daily. Recently she has been having a lot of trouble with girls at school and at girl scouts. I am not under any illusions that my daughter is an angel. I know she gives as much as she gets. But lately it has been pretty rough. But just when I get to a point where I don't think I can handle much more...she goes and does things like this.

So you all remember the Black History Month letter to her friend Nevin. I thought that was the cutest thing ever...until now.

I came downstairs the night before Easter and I found that Adria had written a note to the Easter Bunny and taped it to balloons and set it out where she could see it.

Dear Mr. Bunny, I don't want much this year because I'm thankful for what I have. Love, Adria.

Look, I don't mean to boast, but I have to say...this must mean I'm a pretty kickass mom right?! I mean come on...compared to the she-devils she goes to school with, this kid rocks the casbah. I was so touched I couldn't even believe it.

Of course a few days later she got in trouble for calling a kid That happened.

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

She says she missed her daddy, I don't believe her

So while Thad has been in the hospital, I have been a bit preoccupied. I did not realize that "Spring pictures" were coming up. So, not only do I send Adria in a shirt that has a hole, she had yoga pants on. Now, I never buy the spring pictures because I think it's stupid. We get school pics in the beginning of the year and that's all I need. However, with the spring pictures come the class picture. I think those are important. I mean, who doesn't look at those twenty years later and says "I have no idea who that kid is", well Adria's class picture was great! Everyone was smiling and looking so pretty....

I didn't get permission from the parents to put this photo up, so I drew in the smiley faces so you get the idea. I'm not kidding you. I've looked at this picture 10 times today and every time I laugh a little bit harder. Man, I am in trouble. 

Tuesday, March 13, 2012

Self promotion yet again

I know you're all probably looking for a new story...I have one and it's a DOOZY but first I wanted to take an opportunity to say.....WE WON THAD'S DISABILITY CASE!!!!

For those of you in the know, please bear with me. For those of you who don' is a brief synopsis. Thad is in a wheelchair, he has been in a wheelchair now for roughly a year. He will not be walking anytime soon and the government in their infinite wisdom declared that Thad was indeed NOT disabled and we have been fighting this now for a year and a half.

Yesterday we found out that we won our appeal. What does this mean for our family? It means we're not going to lose our home. It means that I don't have to pick between food and bills. It means that we can finally do everything we've wanted to do. And I'm not talking about vacations and spending large...I'm talking about family movie night out at the theater. Or going out to a nice meal every once in a while. This means that yes Adria, you MAY have that new doll.

I just want to say thank you for everything you have all done for me. It means the world to me and restores faith in least until someone else irritates me!

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Car conversations with Adria

I love being in the car with Adria. Well, most of the time anyway. It is these times when she says some of her funniest stuff. Here are a few that have happened recently that really just cracked me up.

We're driving on Rte. 15 through Camp Hill. We're riding beside a man who has his iPod earbuds in.

A: Mommy! Did you SEE what that man was doing?!!!

(I was slightly scared at this one because for some reason people think they're invisible while driving0

M: No, baby. What was he doing?
A: He was making the rock and roll sign with his hands and banging his head. I think he was listening to rock and roll and not paying attention to what he was doing. (very judgy, this one) I dont' think everyone does that.

Of course I have since proved this wrong. There is nothing more humiliating to an 8 year-old girl that when her Mommy is car dancing...which let's be honest, happens quite frequently.

This one I just thought was adorable
A: When I see Miss Blauch (her teacher) I'm going to give her the death grip. Don't worry though Mommy, it will be like a mini-death grip, which is just a tight hug.

Again, driving on Rte. 15 on the way to her theater class.

A: There's this boy in my class and I think he's scared of me.
M: Why would he be scared of you.
A: Because I freak him out.
M: You freak him out?
A: Yes, see his neighborhood is having a kick ball tournament. And I've been training him. So at recess he gets out the stilts.
M: Stilts? You have stilts at school?
A: Yeah, not the Chinese kind of stilts but the the square ones. You know like the shape? And when he's on them I yell "GO FASTER, STAY IN THE LINES" only louder than that. I don't want to hurt your ears.
M: So you're like his coach?
A: Yeah, like a wrestling coach.

I'm not sure what the difference is between square stilts and Chinese stilts. I'm still waiting to find out  about that.

This next conversation happened again on the way to theater class, are you seeing a theme here?

A: There's a boy in my class and he keeps writing me love notes. But he's a nerd.
M: Adria, nerds are where it's at. You should remember that.
A: No, not THAT kind of nerd...he has asthma.
Then she proceeds to demonstrate the noises me makes. Which, let me tell you, were pretty gross. And I'm sure a gross exaggeration. (see what I did there? I'm so punny)

I fail to see the logic in that one.

Just your typical Saturday morning

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Adria and Black History Month

There are times when I think I've heard it all from my daughter. And then I realize that is not possible. And then there are some times, like these, that I love her so much my heart could explode. And I realize that maybe I'm not screwing her up as much as I think I am.

Everyone knows that February is Black History Month. I won't go into how ridiculous I think this is...because frankly, it should all just be history, but I digress. I'm starting to realize that Adria must be studying Black History Month in school because she is seemingly obsessed with African American people of late. Recently my friend Jeremy (who is black incidentally) told me that he is convinced that Adria herself is, in fact, black. His theory stems from the fact that she wants matching headphones for all of her outfits. I find this to be hilariously funny.

This year Adria has been watching American Idol with me. That in itself is a whole other blog post, but the other night we were watching it and it was group night. As the contestants were getting their groups together, there was one group that was entirely black. Adria of course notices this and says..."That group is ALL black people". I froze. What in the world could she possibly say next?

"That's COOL!"

I was so relieved. Not that I really expected anything bad, you just never know!

So the other night, she comes into the living room and says...

"I wrote my friend Nevin a letter wishing him a Happy Black History Month. You know...because he's black"

It took every ounce of self-control that I had to keep my stuff together. After she left the room Thad and I completely lost it. Streaming tears and all. I don't like to laugh when she does things like this because I don't want her to think it's bad or that she did something wrong. This was just too precious and so sweet. Here is the letter...

My first thought was of course, should she give it to him. I know they're 8 and most kids don't have a malicious bone in their body, but I didn't want Nevin's parents to think she was being mean or making fun. So I turned to my friend Jeremy, the one who is already convinced that Adria is black, and told him about the letter and I said sweet? or racist? His response was "This is proof.  She's definitely a negro."

So there you have it. Happy Black History Month!!!

Oh yeah and Happy V.D.!

Look how grown up- I hate it

Monday, February 6, 2012

Christmas part deux

What do you mean it's February? Oh well, get over it. So this is the continuing saga of Christmas. There isn't going to be too much to talk about because frankly I don't remember what happened. So the big shindig every year is at my mom's house. It's really nice, we have a ton of food that mom later pawns off on us. We have lovely company and conversation. It's very nice.

Every year Adria gets her Christmas eve dress. Mom and I found this one at JC Penny's this year and I posed her in front of the tree because...well, it was pretty dammit!
Here is my little princess. I just cannot believe how grown up she is becoming.

Christmas Eve went off without a hitch...except for one thing....I left all of my scones at my mom's house. That's right, when it was time to hang stockings I had no cookies to leave Santa. I'm really starting to resent Santa and was contemplating just ratting him out right then and there. Alas, I did not. So we decided that he probably didn't need all of those cookies and just left him a glass of milk.

Morning time comes and I get up and go downstairs and lo and behold...this child is still sleeping. Well, I had to go and pick up Thad's parents for our Christmas breakfast. We come back and she is STILL sleeping. UNACCEPTABLE!!!!! I go running upstairs and jump on her and tell her to get up. Still, no really keen on the whole getting up part. But, she did. She tore through her gifts and this is what was left....
We have a robe and squinkies and some monster high crap...and THAD!

Well some of you may not know this but we have a LOT of travelling to do on Christmas morning. Next year I'm staging a coup and people can come to ME if they want to see me. I'm done. So Thad couldn't really travel with us so we pack up and get ready to go. This is Adria's Chrstmas day gift opening outfit.

Legs for DAYS!
We load everyone in the car, I drop off Thad's mom and dad and we head to my mom's house. It was scrumptious as always. Then we get down to business. Adria's big gift from her Aunt Meaghan this year was an American Girl doll. Her name is Julie.
This is Julie. Julie is from 1974 San Fransisco. She likes basketball but has to fight for a spot on the boys' team. Her hobbies include beading, knitting and crafting. Her rabbit's name is Nutmeg and her favorite books are Little House on the Prairie (OMG ME TOO!!!) Her nickname is Cool Hand Albright because she's so good at dribbling. Her proudest moment is releasing an eagle back into the wild. Her biggest change in her life was when her parents divorced and she had to move to a new school. Julie also....ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME!!!! This is a doll. A DOLL!! You can take her to NYC and get her hair done. My sister got a beach outfit and a roller skating outfit. This doll has sunglasses and three different pairs of shoes and a canopy bed that is beside Adria's bed. I NEVER HAD A CANOPY BED!!! Despite the fact that I BEGGED for one....ugh...whatever.

Moving on

Then we go to Dad's house. Now, anyone that knows me at all, knows I make fun of the Snuggie...all....the....time. We open gifts at my dad's house and he gets me a Snuggie. It was just too funny. Now I don't know if y'all know this but a Snuggie straight out of the box smells like gasoline. Very gross!!! I took it home and washed it and I can't stand the feel of the fabric. So I gave it to Adria. She LOVES it. Of course, when she puts it on for the first time....

The kid turns it into a freaking kimono!!!!!! AMAZING

After Dad's house we go back to Mom's for dinner....mmmmmm dinner. This is of course after we stuff ourselves full on pork BBQ sandwiches, chips, veggies and general goodness...SHHHH don't tell mom. Adria decides this year she likes turkey legs. LEGS. Like the freaking Renaissance faire. You would expect this person to eat a turkey leg....


ARGGGH TURKEY LEG? Nope, not the same.

So there you have it. Our Christmas in a nutshell. It was totally awesome and we had some really good times!!!!!  I hope you and yours did as well.

I am going to leave you with this photo because's hilarious. Someone in my neighborhood got FORKED!!!!

Thursday, January 12, 2012

I'm so sorry!!

I have had several people ask when a new entry is coming. We have been crazed and Adria has been super sick so I apologize for the delay. Also, today she decided to act like a little monster and get grounded, so I thought it would be nice to write positive things about her since I'm so angry right now ;-) So, the holidays came and went with relative peace this year. That is so good. Normally, I loathe the holidays because it is such a stressful time. This year though, I had lots of help from some really good friends and I managed to have everything ready for Christmas by the middle of November.

First things first. I had gotten her the Barbie camper for Christmas. I ordered it from Amazon at an AMAZING price. This was to be one of her "big" gifts. I don't know if you order from Amazon or not but usually it comes in an Amazon box. You all know the box I'm talking about...plain, unmarked, with the Amazon swoosh on the side? I never bothered having anything shipped anywhere else because it was a very non-descript box. So I get home from work and Adria says to me "Mommy, something came for you today. What is it?" So as I'm thinking of something to say I come around the corner and see...


I was literally dumbstruck. I absolutely could not believe it. Now, the box that came to my house said BARBIE CAMPER in huge letters on the side. But other than that, this box is exactly the same! Of course Adria is in 2nd grade and she CAN READ!!! The sweet girl was trying so hard to pretend she didn't know what it said. I calmly looked at her and said "well, it was supposed to be for Christmas morning". I of course let her open it. I mean, what kind of monster says you can't open it until Christmas morning. Not to mention, I was not real swift on my feet either...I could not think of a decent lie. Needless to say I was the best mom in the world for about a week. HA! Take THAT Santa.

Next on the list was the Christmas tree. Every year it is Adria's job to pick out the tree. She usually does a very good job (except last year when we didn't realize the tree trunk was roughly a 45 degree angle). We always buy the tree from the scouts. I think it's an awesome organization and I support them every year. We pull in to the tree lot and there is a little boy dancing and trying to get people to come in and buy. Adria cannot take her eyes off of him. I asked her if she thought he was cute. I do this for my own amusement. She of course shrieks "NO! He's silly!" hehehe. So we get the tree home and I was very please with how it turned out. We got it up and decorated it the next day.

Oh! I almost forgot. It was cold that day so we got some hot chocolate from Starbucks. While we're in the car Adria asks me to take her picture. She does this all the time but this time...she was posing. (Shocking, I know)....

Such a diva

So the next step in our Christmas process are scones. The scones that we make are not traditional English scones. They are actually called Welsh cakes but whatever. They are delicious and a GIGANTIC PAIN IN THE ASS! They take precise measurements, except the part where it says add buttermilk "until it's right". So Adria decides she wants to help me.

I would like you all to know that this picture is totally faked and posed. She helped me for about 32 seconds before she got bored and left to go do something else.

In these days leading up to Christmas my friend Emily and I decided to get together and take Adria to Chocolate World. It's such an awesome place when you're broke! Haahaa. We did the free ride and whatnot. Adria slept the whole way there. Woke up long enough to pose...again, shocking, I know.

In case you're wondering, yes that is a Santa hat headband, fingerless gloves, et al.

Like my fat blocking move? That's right, she's a shield. A shield for fat pictures.
We had an awesome time and decide that we're going to grab a bite to eat. Adria sleeps the whole way back from Chocolate world. M, Adria and I end up at the Hi-Life diner in Camp Hill. Great food by the way! I order Adria a grilled cheese and she does this...

She flat out falls asleep in the booth. I ask her if she wants to try her food. It's a no go! So we're paying for our bill and suddenly from behind I hear.."Mommy, I don't feel good". I ask her if she's going to get sick and she nods and I just yell.."Run, Adria, run like the wind!"
M, being the great friend that she is follows closely behind. Adria got sick. It was pretty ugly. Poor thing, no wonder she was sleeping! She's been so sick but that's another post all together.

The holidays are quickly approaching at this point and Friday before the big day my sister comes home! YAY SISTER!!!! And this crazy person wants to go shopping..the Friday before Christmas. I really didn't want to go but she promised to buy me OK, twist my arm!

We go to the Colonial Park mall and are having a really good time. We stop in at Journey's and Adria sees this hat that she absolutely must have...

Are you starting to sense a theme. This child can lay down and sleep anywhere especially when she doesn't feel good!!! So next it's time for Claire's.

I don't know if you've ever taken an 8 year old to Claire's but it is NOT fun. My sister swears she will never do it again. See, she wanted to get her new earrings. But did Adria want new earrings? No. She wanted the Justin Bieber lip gloss, or the box to hold the non-existent earrings. Let me just tell you this child has more lip gloss than Kim Kardashian and enough "storage boxes" to last her an eternity and then some. So here we are in Claire's trying to reason with an 8 year old girl about why she doesn't need anything Justin Bieber. Yeah, good luck with THAT. So begrudgingly she picks out a sheet of earrings. Meanwhile in between all of this Meaghan and I are having a blast trying stuff on and so is Adria.
Such a beautiful, sequined, reindeer mask. Why!? Why do you need something like this!?

This majestic fox hat was exactly what we needed to laugh until we almost we ourselves in the middle of the Claire's.
That was a mix of fun and not so fun. But Meg and I always have a good time. She likes to spend money, I like to take stuff from her. It's win-win really.

So this ends Christmas part 1. There is just too much to talk about so I will have another post soon! I will leave you with this...

Oh this child.