Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Car conversations with Adria

I love being in the car with Adria. Well, most of the time anyway. It is these times when she says some of her funniest stuff. Here are a few that have happened recently that really just cracked me up.

We're driving on Rte. 15 through Camp Hill. We're riding beside a man who has his iPod earbuds in.

A: Mommy! Did you SEE what that man was doing?!!!

(I was slightly scared at this one because for some reason people think they're invisible while driving0

M: No, baby. What was he doing?
A: He was making the rock and roll sign with his hands and banging his head. I think he was listening to rock and roll and not paying attention to what he was doing. (very judgy, this one) I dont' think everyone does that.

Of course I have since proved this wrong. There is nothing more humiliating to an 8 year-old girl that when her Mommy is car dancing...which let's be honest, happens quite frequently.

This one I just thought was adorable
A: When I see Miss Blauch (her teacher) I'm going to give her the death grip. Don't worry though Mommy, it will be like a mini-death grip, which is just a tight hug.

Again, driving on Rte. 15 on the way to her theater class.

A: There's this boy in my class and I think he's scared of me.
M: Why would he be scared of you.
A: Because I freak him out.
M: You freak him out?
A: Yes, see his neighborhood is having a kick ball tournament. And I've been training him. So at recess he gets out the stilts.
M: Stilts? You have stilts at school?
A: Yeah, not the Chinese kind of stilts but the the square ones. You know like the shape? And when he's on them I yell "GO FASTER, STAY IN THE LINES" only louder than that. I don't want to hurt your ears.
M: So you're like his coach?
A: Yeah, like a wrestling coach.

I'm not sure what the difference is between square stilts and Chinese stilts. I'm still waiting to find out  about that.

This next conversation happened again on the way to theater class, are you seeing a theme here?

A: There's a boy in my class and he keeps writing me love notes. But he's a nerd.
M: Adria, nerds are where it's at. You should remember that.
A: No, not THAT kind of nerd...he has asthma.
Then she proceeds to demonstrate the noises me makes. Which, let me tell you, were pretty gross. And I'm sure a gross exaggeration. (see what I did there? I'm so punny)

I fail to see the logic in that one.

Just your typical Saturday morning

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Adria and Black History Month

There are times when I think I've heard it all from my daughter. And then I realize that is not possible. And then there are some times, like these, that I love her so much my heart could explode. And I realize that maybe I'm not screwing her up as much as I think I am.

Everyone knows that February is Black History Month. I won't go into how ridiculous I think this is...because frankly, it should all just be history, but I digress. I'm starting to realize that Adria must be studying Black History Month in school because she is seemingly obsessed with African American people of late. Recently my friend Jeremy (who is black incidentally) told me that he is convinced that Adria herself is, in fact, black. His theory stems from the fact that she wants matching headphones for all of her outfits. I find this to be hilariously funny.

This year Adria has been watching American Idol with me. That in itself is a whole other blog post, but the other night we were watching it and it was group night. As the contestants were getting their groups together, there was one group that was entirely black. Adria of course notices this and says..."That group is ALL black people". I froze. What in the world could she possibly say next?

"That's COOL!"

I was so relieved. Not that I really expected anything bad, you just never know!

So the other night, she comes into the living room and says...

"I wrote my friend Nevin a letter wishing him a Happy Black History Month. You know...because he's black"

It took every ounce of self-control that I had to keep my stuff together. After she left the room Thad and I completely lost it. Streaming tears and all. I don't like to laugh when she does things like this because I don't want her to think it's bad or that she did something wrong. This was just too precious and so sweet. Here is the letter...

My first thought was of course, should she give it to him. I know they're 8 and most kids don't have a malicious bone in their body, but I didn't want Nevin's parents to think she was being mean or making fun. So I turned to my friend Jeremy, the one who is already convinced that Adria is black, and told him about the letter and I said sweet? or racist? His response was "This is proof.  She's definitely a negro."

So there you have it. Happy Black History Month!!!

Oh yeah and Happy V.D.!

Look how grown up- I hate it

Monday, February 6, 2012

Christmas part deux

What do you mean it's February? Oh well, get over it. So this is the continuing saga of Christmas. There isn't going to be too much to talk about because frankly I don't remember what happened. So the big shindig every year is at my mom's house. It's really nice, we have a ton of food that mom later pawns off on us. We have lovely company and conversation. It's very nice.

Every year Adria gets her Christmas eve dress. Mom and I found this one at JC Penny's this year and I posed her in front of the tree because...well, it was pretty dammit!
Here is my little princess. I just cannot believe how grown up she is becoming.

Christmas Eve went off without a hitch...except for one thing....I left all of my scones at my mom's house. That's right, when it was time to hang stockings I had no cookies to leave Santa. I'm really starting to resent Santa and was contemplating just ratting him out right then and there. Alas, I did not. So we decided that he probably didn't need all of those cookies and just left him a glass of milk.

Morning time comes and I get up and go downstairs and lo and behold...this child is still sleeping. Well, I had to go and pick up Thad's parents for our Christmas breakfast. We come back and she is STILL sleeping. UNACCEPTABLE!!!!! I go running upstairs and jump on her and tell her to get up. Still, no really keen on the whole getting up part. But, she did. She tore through her gifts and this is what was left....
We have a robe and squinkies and some monster high crap...and THAD!

Well some of you may not know this but we have a LOT of travelling to do on Christmas morning. Next year I'm staging a coup and people can come to ME if they want to see me. I'm done. So Thad couldn't really travel with us so we pack up and get ready to go. This is Adria's Chrstmas day gift opening outfit.

Legs for DAYS!
We load everyone in the car, I drop off Thad's mom and dad and we head to my mom's house. It was scrumptious as always. Then we get down to business. Adria's big gift from her Aunt Meaghan this year was an American Girl doll. Her name is Julie.
This is Julie. Julie is from 1974 San Fransisco. She likes basketball but has to fight for a spot on the boys' team. Her hobbies include beading, knitting and crafting. Her rabbit's name is Nutmeg and her favorite books are Little House on the Prairie (OMG ME TOO!!!) Her nickname is Cool Hand Albright because she's so good at dribbling. Her proudest moment is releasing an eagle back into the wild. Her biggest change in her life was when her parents divorced and she had to move to a new school. Julie also....ARE YOU EFFING KIDDING ME!!!! This is a doll. A DOLL!! You can take her to NYC and get her hair done. My sister got a beach outfit and a roller skating outfit. This doll has sunglasses and three different pairs of shoes and a canopy bed that is beside Adria's bed. I NEVER HAD A CANOPY BED!!! Despite the fact that I BEGGED for one....ugh...whatever.

Moving on

Then we go to Dad's house. Now, anyone that knows me at all, knows I make fun of the Snuggie...all....the....time. We open gifts at my dad's house and he gets me a Snuggie. It was just too funny. Now I don't know if y'all know this but a Snuggie straight out of the box smells like gasoline. Very gross!!! I took it home and washed it and I can't stand the feel of the fabric. So I gave it to Adria. She LOVES it. Of course, when she puts it on for the first time....

The kid turns it into a freaking kimono!!!!!! AMAZING

After Dad's house we go back to Mom's for dinner....mmmmmm dinner. This is of course after we stuff ourselves full on pork BBQ sandwiches, chips, veggies and general goodness...SHHHH don't tell mom. Adria decides this year she likes turkey legs. LEGS. Like the freaking Renaissance faire. You would expect this person to eat a turkey leg....


ARGGGH TURKEY LEG? Nope, not the same.

So there you have it. Our Christmas in a nutshell. It was totally awesome and we had some really good times!!!!!  I hope you and yours did as well.

I am going to leave you with this photo because's hilarious. Someone in my neighborhood got FORKED!!!!